Episodes

Well it had to happen, Tom Cruise had to star in a complete dud eventually. Directed by Robert Redford & co-starring Meryl Streep this is an absolute yawn fest about how the War on Terror sucks ass, starring Tom as a slimy Republican senator. Join Heather & I as we do our best to make this snooze fest kinda interesting by dissing it constantly. Look, we tried!

Listen to Heather's podcast Online Moll Patrol via www.onlinemollpatrol.com or on twitter/instagram

We're back in 2054 to finish our review of 'Minority Report' where we find out whether or not the pre-cogs were right about John being a killer or if there was a redemptive minority report after all. Join Cam & I as we discuss eye transplants, creepy metal spiders, how much Tom Cruise loves holding his breath, Spielbergian plot devices & plenty more.

Find Cam on twitter @no_3.

This week we find ourselves in the future, in 2054 where murderers are caught before they even do the murder by a special team called 'Pre-Crime'. Yep, it's time to review the excellent Spielberg sci fi hit 'Minority Report'! Cam joins me to discuss the important stuff like wooden balls that simply cannot be tampered with, poorly named liquids, the effect murder has on your "metaphysical" self, whether cops will ever stop being bastards & much more. And that's barely the 1st half of the film!

Find Cam on twitter @no_3.

We have a bonus minisode this week due to it being the holiday period, so I'm joined yet again by Benjamin to have a chat about the IMAX movie Tom Cruise narrated in 2002, his other upcoming space movies, the time he yelled on set, the Tom Cruise Renaissance & other lil bits n pieces.

Find Benjamin on twitter or instagram.

Dave Callan joins me again to discuss whether or not we think Tom Cruise can do comedy. Tom isn't particularly well known for his comedic performances but he has dabbled in it from time to time, most notably in his portrayal of Les Grossman in 'Tropic Thunder'. We discuss the types of comedy we think he could do well & other roles he's played that were unexpectedly funny.

Find Dave Callan on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.

You're a corker! I am joined by Dave Callan this week to review the Ron Howard film from 1992 'Far and Away' which was essentially just an excuse for Tom Cruise & his new wife Nicole Kidman to throw each other lusty looks constantly. It's full of bad Irish accents, continuity errors, extremely misplaced comedy & a hilarious incident involving a penny farthing. Join us as we contemplate the idea of Irish people gleefully stealing land from native Americans, punching horses for no good reason, Looney Tunes style SFX & (once again) Tom cruise's eyebrows.

Find Dave Callan on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.

Allison is back to finish our review of Born on the Fourth of July where this time we delve into the importance of sex work, disability access, how US politics has changed between the late 60s and now and how great it is to hear Tom Cruise scream "BIG ERECT PENIS". We also cover some trivia about the film including a plan to actually paralyse Tom???

Find Allison on both Twitter & Instagram

We're back with another of Tom Cruise's war films, but this one is distinctly anti-war this time. Based on the real life story of paralysed Vietnam war vet Ron Kovic, we follow a patriotic young man's journey into becoming a famous anti-war activist. Join Allison & I as we get deep on the problems with war, patriotism, the lack of care available to vets when he they get home from war & much more. 

Find Allison on both Twitter & Instagram

After reviewing 'All The Right Moves', Bryn and I tried to imagine what came next for his character Stef and came up with the concept of a Tom Cruise Shared Universe! Join us as we haphazardly try to link as many Tom Cruise films together as possible to create new timelines that inevitably turn him into either Ethan Hunt or a vampire.

We're popping back to the 80s for a very early Tom Cruise film that hasn't stood the test of time quite as well as some of his other classics. Bryn & I delve into the wild world of high school football, hormones, shitty home towns & excessive synths. Did we learn any lessons along the way? Not really. Did we have a lot of laughs though? We sure did!

In our stunning conclusion of A Few Good Men, Ginger & I cover the court case in great detail, tripping over the delivery of the famous lines from the iconic Jack Nicholson scenes. We continue our discussion on how messed up military culture is, why it was important for Demi Moore's character to be female in a sea of angry white men, Tom Cruise's tradition of playing the playboy-character-learns-a-valuable-lesson & much more. 

Find Ginger on Twitter @gingerbft or find their podcasts via gingerbfg.com

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Yep it's time for that movie with the very famous line that has been parodied at least 10,000 times in pop culture. Ginger joins me to discuss Aaron Sorkin's 1st screenplay that is honestly way better than it has any right to be considering it's a very serious military legal drama. Please note: We stuff up military & legal jargon at absolutely every turn while also continuously scoffing at the obsession with "codes" and calling people sir, so be warned if you're a military aficionado because you're gonna get so mad at us, lol!

Find Ginger on Twitter @gingerbft or find their podcasts via gingerbfg.com

If you enjoyed the discussion about how homoerotic Top Gun was then you're probably going to like this minisode! Ava & I discuss Lestat and Louis' relationship, debating how queer they actually were & how different the film might have been if made now & not the deeply homophobic early 90s. Join us as discuss their toxic relationship, obsessive love, loss & other vampiry things!

Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram

Ava & I are back with part 2 of Interview with the Vampire where we whinge about Louis some more before Lestat makes his stunning comeback(s). Join us as we delve into the wild world of how Tom Cruise prepares himself for film roles, the special/makeup effects, how much it would have cost Brad Pitt to leave the film & we discover a brand new Tom Cruisism!

Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram

If ever there was a role that Tom Cruise absolutely smashed, defying all expectations as a Hollywood mega star, it has to be 1994's Interview with the Vampire. I am joined by Ava who is well versed in vampire lore, to discuss this dramatic, visually pleasing and often homoerotic film co-starring Brad Pitt and Kirstin Dunst. Join us as we cover vampire stereotypes, the morality of feeding upon racists and endlessly complain about Louis and his complaining, 

Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram

We all know that volleyball scene was pretty dang homoerotic, but what about the rest of Top Gun? Josie & I explore the queer undercurrent of the 80s action classic after enjoying a deep dive on the topic by feminist write Clementine Ford.

Josie's podcast is A Hill To Die On  or find her on twitter @jsspcr

Artwork for this episode is by Caragh Brooks.

Taaaake my breath awaaaayyyyyy! Yes folks, we're finally reviewing the film from which my title music comes from; Top Gun! I am joined by Josie who had never seen this giant advert for the military before & was as delighted as I am by the excessively sweaty naked man content! Join us as we delve into the world of FIGHTERTOWN, USA where women are scarce, volleyball is played in jeans, toxic masculinity gets nice people killed, frosted tips everywhere, the antagonist just wanting his team mates to stay alive & so much more.

Josie's podcast is A Hill To Die On  or find her on twitter @jsspcr

Artwork for this episode is by Caragh Brooks.

Because I couldn't quite let Mission: Impossible go, here is one final minisode dedicated to the franchise before I finally move on. I am joined by Liam who reviewed Valkyrie with me way back in episode 5 to run through all of the best (and worst) bits of the series where we discuss the best stunts and mask reveals, suggest possible replacements for Ethan Hunt if the series continues without Tom Cruise, bitch endlessly about JJ Abrams and rank the film from best to worst.

Find Liam's podcast via @flawlessamp

Now that all of the Mission: Impossible films have been reviewed, it's time to speculate about the two upcoming films that are currently being filmed simultaneously! Join Britt and I as we discuss possible locations, threats, villains and, of course, dizzying stunts and whether or not they'll involve tanks or bicycles.

Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon

It's here! The stunning conclusion to the review of the greatest Tom Cruise film ever made; Fallout! Britt and I wrap up the incredible end of the film (involving nuclear bombs, shocking returns from the past, helicopters, getting Harvey Dented and fist fights on cliff tops) before giving it our RECORD BREAKING reviews and chucking in some slash fan fiction at the end for good measure. BAM BAM!

Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon

We're finally here! The latest Tom Cruise film, the 6th in the M:I franchise, the very one that turned me into the Tom Cruise superfan I am today: Fallout! I am joined by Britt who has been watching the movies for the 1st time along with the podcast, who thankfully had as much fun as I did with this absolute banger of a film. Join us as we go through every stunt in minute detail, compare parts of the movie to Dumb & Dumber, Batman and Tap Dogs and that infamous fistcock moment.

Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon

Back in the year 2000, Metallica's song "I Disappear" was to feature on the M:I 2 soundtrack but months before it was due to be released, radio stations were already playing it. And thus the epic law suit of Metallica vs Napster, the early P2P program, made history. Jimmy & I discuss this fascinating story of the court case that divided the music industry & has had ongoing ramifications for physical media ever since.

Find Jimmy on Twitter @Roleplay_James or his website gm4hire.com.au

It's time for part 2 of my in depth discussion of M:I Rogue Nation with Jimmy! There are high speed chases with surprising amount of comedy, motorcycle crashes, deception, Benji Bombs, masks and romance?! Join us as we finish off this wonderful movie together and start getting excited for Fallout!

Find Jimmy on Twitter @Roleplay_James or his website gm4hire.com.au

It's time for the incredible 5th installment of the M:I series and this time I'm joined by Jimmy who helps me do a deep dive into this film! From the mind boggling stunts involving airplanes, free diving, opera theatres and a big metal pole, we go through the 1st half of the film with a fine tooth comb, discussing how the series has changed since it's humble beginnings in 1996.

Find Jimmy on Twitter @Roleplay_James or his website gm4hire.com.au